I Just Want To Gobble These Up!
Welcome to The Home Shopping Blog Network Channel. Today, we're highlighting the finest offerings in Thanksgiving fashion. If there's one thing the perfect host or hostess knows, it's that setting the perfect table is paramount at this annual feast. However, the china plates and crystal goblets aren't the only things that should sparkle when everyone gathers 'round the table. As any good party planner knows, a properly festooned outfit makes his or her guest feel not only welcome, but cherished. It says "I care enough about you to bedazzle myself with the finest appliques and seasonal designs that money can buy." And nothing says it best...like a vest.
Few things can truly enhance the beauty of an immaculately crafted sweater vest, but we here at The Home Shopping Blog Network Channel think eight dangly-footed turkeys dressed as Pilgrims, and copious amounts of rainbow piping adds a subtle and elegant touch. Order our "Dangle de Ocho" sweater today! Call today!*
Speaking of subtle and elegant and for that matter, copious, here's another sweater vest to tempt you with its visual display. Oh! I've just been informed that we've sold out of our "Double Cornucopia of Delight" design. $15.96 and it could have been yours.
Our next special is something for the younger crowd. Our tunic length sweater, "Turkey Knit Jumper," offers the whimsy of an elementary school drawing with its bold colors and stylized, macrocephalic turkey. It pairs perfectly with both youthful discord and a Justin Bieber haircut. It's a steal at only £69.99 or $135.00.
Thanks Jimmy Fallon, for having Cory Cavin write this blog for me. For the person who wants everything...all at once, jam packed on a sweater, we offer you what we like to call "The Farmer's Basket." The discriminating customer will appreciate both the festive seasonal images such as the turkey, pie, and pilgrim's hat, but also the year-round wearability of this delightful piece thanks to the multi-colored geometric shapes and spring flowers. The completely arbitrary placement also shows that you're a free spirit! Order now!*  As a special gift to you, our customers here at The Home Shopping Blog Network Channel, we offer the expert knitters, and only the expert knitters, among you the opportunity to make your own pilgrim-turkey hat. Click the Loom Lady link for instructions! For everyone else, consider purchasing* our "Just Like Mom Used to Make" turkey beanie below!  You'll be the envy of all of your friends and family with your fine display of Thanksgiving pride. It also works well at Christmas and anytime you need a makeshift viking helmet. Buy three or more to take advantage of the family discount!*  So when you sit down to your Thanksgiving table, surrounded by loved ones, don't forget to give thanks for the bounty you are about to receive, and for the stylish knitwear offered by The Home Shopping Blog Network Channel. Doesn't that look good? "Mmmm! Save the neck for me Clark!"  Enjoy... |
...But don't eat too much; you'll want to save room for dessert!
Brought to you by The Home Shopping Blog Network Channel. To order, call (555) 555-5555 or simply email your order to youvegottobekiddingme@fakecompany.com
*The Home Shopping Blog Network Channel is not a real company and does not sell any of these items...though, somebody might, and in some cases, actually did. If you mistakenly thought otherwise, you need to get off of the internet. However, if you're not the most gullible person ever and are still online, check the links to see some cool craft projects.
OH, AND BLOGGER, THE NEW EDITOR IS JUST RIDICULOUSLY BAD. FIX IT!
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